Evil Cleaning

Evil Cleaning: (e-vhol /klēning/) verb/present participle: Picking up toys while you are too angry and disgruntled to put them in the toy box, and throw them in the trash can instead. Because, hey, you are not the maid. You told them and told them to pick up their own darn toys. And you’re proud that you said, “darn” instead of “f#ck*ng” because you are a responsible adult to your kids’ face. Besides, you never liked those toys anyway; you only keep them because they make the little guys happy. However, sentimental value has Zero value at the moment.

     Ex: “Evil cleaning kept me busy before the kids got home from school.”

     Synonyms: low give a sh*t meter; If I told them once, I told them a thousand times; lost it; #honeybadger.

     Formal: A little light house cleaning.

Respect for Belongings

We try to teach a certain amount of respect for our material possessions. I insist that the kids treat my “toys” with care, and I return the favor. Just because something isn’t important to you, doesn’t mean that it isn’t important.

When we get more toys than the toy box can handle, we throw out broken toys and donate the unused ones.

Evil Cleaning

All of that respect occasionally gets thrown out of the window.

Do I regret it later? I can honestly say that my kids haven’t even noticed. I might feel guilty if they were like, “Mom, have you seen my toy?”. But they don’t, because they lose things all of the time… bwahahaha! ‘Course, it might be because I’m not exactly helpful about helping them find their stuff:

Son: Mom, do you know where my shoes are?

Me: Oh yeah, I wore them to prom last night and put them away where you’ll never find them.

Son: …What’s “prom”?

Me: NO, I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOUR SHOES ARE!!


Are you guilty of evil cleaning? Yeah, but do you feel guilty?

I'd love to hear what has worked for you!

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